Tidings of Comfort
by JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls
Summary: Maura fears she has unleashed Murphy's law when she leaves an anonymous confession of love on Jane's doorstep and gets caught before she can make a getaway. Planned oneshot.


**A/N**: Filled a tumblr prompt from thepriceisrizzoli. Happy holidays, everyone!

* * *

For such a small box, it contained so many big dreams.

It was small, humble, and its red color was pleasant in contrast to the snow drifts partially covering the welcome mat Angela had foisted on Jane. The open air hallways were a constant source of complaint for the older tenants in the building during winter, but Jane had thought and Maura agreed that so long as it was well-maintained, it brought a little festive cheer to the place. Slowly she started to back away, knowing that it would be too easy to just stand here forever staring at the gift box and that meant there'd be a good chance Jane could randomly walk out of her apartment at any time and see her there with it. She couldn't be here when Jane saw it. Waiting to hear about it would be agonizing, but it would be more agonizing to watch as Jane read the card and opened it.

_Okay. Nice and easy. Simple. Cute. Not stalkery, right? No. It's fine. It'll be fine. Now just back around the corner and__—_

_OH SHIT AHHH OH NO AH SHIT_

Maura's attempt to make a quiet escape were thwarted not only because she slipped on some snowy stairs, but because the stream of profanities that zipped through her mind after her pep talk wound up slipping out, quite audibly, as she banged down the stairwell. She managed to stop the downward momentum by grabbing hold of the railing, and it was only after the faint echo of her body banging against the stairs and her resultant yells had died out that she let herself take a breath. On the one hand it didn't do much for her faith in humanity that no one had come out to see what had happened, but on the other hand, it would've been mortifying to be found like this right after—

"Whoa, everyone okay out there? Are we laughing or are we calling first responders?"

Jane's face popped over the railing, and she looked stunned to see Maura lying there. "It's okay," Maura wheezed. "I'm a doctor."

"Geez! What happened, are you okay?" Jane asked, hurrying down to meet her.

"I'll be fine," Maura said, though this was belied by her inability to stand up without assistance. "I'm okay, don't mind me, I'm just going to take off."

"Take off? Wait, you just got here—did we have plans I forgot about?"

"No," Maura said miserably. She hoped it was cold enough to warrant a red face, because a blush would blow her cover. "I was just thinking it'd be nice to see you, since you've been off work prepping for your deposition and then giving the deposition, so I was on my way up and, well..." Just enough of the truth to mislead Jane to a false conclusion.

It wasn't in Maura's nature to make spontaneous visits, and Jane would've pushed her for details if she wasn't concerned about the fall. "Well, that was very kind of you, and I'm so sorry! Our super is usually on the ball when it comes to snow on these stairwells. I mean the halls are okay, at least. Are you sure you're all right? Let me help you up, we can get you relaxed on the couch and watch a show or something."

"No, no, it's fine."

"But weren't you on your way here anyway? Come on, you're not embarrassed, are you?" Jane chuckled. "I mean, you've seen me make three-point landings just trying to successfully navigate a curb on a rainy day. Hell, remember that time I was telling some rookie to shove off and I turned and face-planted over the tape into a crime scene?"

"Oh, gosh, I'd forgotten that. You almost compromised so much evidence."

"Yeah. So I don't wanna hear about embarrassment. C'mon, pal, you're coming with me."

With surprising strength, Jane took hold of Maura and started guiding her up the stairs. The forcefulness of her movements were coming from a place of wanting to be helpful and keeping Maura safe from the prospect of falling again, but as they neared the top of the stairs, Maura couldn't help feeling like she was being strong-armed to her doom. Maybe if Jane hadn't seen the box when she'd come out in the first place, she wouldn't see it now...

But no such luck.

At the top of the stairs, Jane noticed the small, intricately wrapped gift near her door. "Huh, what's that?"

"Well! Look at that," Maura heard herself saying. "It seems to be a present?"

She leaned purposefully towards the door, which Jane nudged open. "It's got my name on it," she muttered, picking it up.

"Maybe one of your neighbors left it," Maura said. "Just—just now, I mean, when you were coming to my rescue. Did you see it when you came out a minute ago?"

"No, but it looks like I might've knocked it out of the way when I opened the door," Jane mused. She glanced up and apologized when she saw Maura leaning weakly against the doorframe. "Hey, sorry, let's get you inside. And might I suggest more practical boots the next time you go out in the snow?"

"Fair," Maura sighed. They'd gotten to the couch and Maura hunched over to remove the boots, but groaned in pain half-lean.

Jane had been about to inspect the mystery gift, but dropped it on the coffee table at the sound of Maura's anguish. Though Maura protested, Jane shushed her and knelt on the floor, untying the boots. Wanting to be as sensitive as possible to Maura's pain, Jane removed the first boot with utmost tenderness, using her free hand to hold Maura's stockinged leg steady. As Jane's hand slid down with the progress of the boot, Maura felt goosebumps erupt that had nothing to do with the cold.

"That better?" Jane murmured, joining her on the couch. "C'mon, let's see what this is about." She picked up the small package from the table, and Maura might've lunged for it if that wouldn't have sent her into spasms of pain. "The card is almost as big as the package," Jane chuckled, unfolding it. She raised her eyebrows at the length of the note, and glanced at the bottom to check the signature. "Huh. That's weird, it's not signed."

The panic churning through Maura's veins halted, but new anxieties cropped up. She'd forgotten to sign it? How could she have forgotten to sign it? Maybe this was better. Maybe now she could try to plead ignorance. This had been an embarrassing slip of judgment and this had been a stupid idea and oh no was Jane reading the note now? Would it sound like it was from a stalker if it was anonymous?

"You don't have to read that," Maura blurted out, and Jane looked at her, surprised. "I mean, um, I mean I think that might be one of Emily Post's rules. If a card isn't signed, you aren't obligated to, um..."

"I'm not obligated, I'm curious," Jane said.

"Wait," Maura said, getting an idea. "Jane, you should be careful. An anonymous package left on your doorstep? With a long, creepy letter?"

"What makes you think it's creepy? It's not written with like, cut-out magazine letters. You saying I should call up a bomb squad to make sure there's not a tiny explosive in here?"

Maura's impulse was to say yes because the distraction might help her make a stealthy getaway from this embarrassment, but her conscience wouldn't allow it. "No, I'd just think you might want to be a little more careful. I mean, what does your gut say about unmarked packages?" Oh, no. This was bad. How could she be trying to scare Jane like this? Was that really worse than the humiliation she might feel at being found out and having her note rebuffed? "I-I'm not trying to frighten you, I just want you to be cautious."

Jane pursed her lips. "Maura, nothing you do could frighten me."

"Not even..." She tried and failed to come up with an extreme example.

"No, not even if you suddenly started teasing your hair, quit your job, married Steven Tyler and joined Aerosmith."

That at least got Maura to laugh. "Steven Tyler? Oh, did your mother make you sit through the Liv Tyler episode of Who Do You Think You Are, too?"

"Yes, and it was very inspiring," Jane said, returning to the note. "Maybe this is a DNA kit she sent me. Call it a gut feeling, but I don't think this gift is intended to be a threat. Listen to this note." She cleared her throat and held out the paper with a flourish: "'Dear Jane: every time the holiday season comes around, I try to be good about remembering everything I have to be grateful for. You often get lumped in there when I say I am grateful for my friends, but it's high time I singled you out specifically. I am so thankful for the friendship and solace you provide me. You're fierce and first to defend me in my moment of trouble or need. Your wit and laughter sustain me and never come at my expense.'" With a rueful laugh, Jane glanced at Maura. "Guess this can't be from you, huh? I think I've been making one too many jokes at your expense lately. I'm sorry about that."

A lump had risen in Maura's throat, and she tried to tell Jane it was all right, but couldn't speak, so she merely shook her head.

Jane continued, her voice a little more reverent now: "'When we part, there is no sadness because our bond is always there. You're not just my friend; you're a gift both precious and rare. In reading over this note, I've realized it sounds like a love letter, and I admit that made me pause to wonder if I should attach it at all. I didn't set out to make it sound that way at first. Then I figured it might be dishonest to continue acting as though these feelings hadn't been brewing for some time. I apologize for sounding mushy, but I had to make these growing feelings known and hope that the knowledge of their existence isn't a burden to you in any way. Merry Christmas.'"

She flipped the note over again, as if this time the back of the paper wouldn't be blank. Maura tried valiantly to temper her wildly beating heart, but to no avail, and so instead focused on keeping her breathing regulated so as not to arouse Jane's suspicions.

"Wow," Jane whispered. "Sounds like I've got a secret admirer, huh?"

"Not a stalker?"

"No," Jane chuckled. "A stalker would go more into physical details like, 'the column of your throat drives me to the brink of insanity,' or 'your eyelids look like they would be delicious additions to my favorite beet salad.'"

Despite herself, Maura had to laugh. "Oh, that's sick. Why do I encourage you?"

"Because you love me. And I love you." Jane said it with a shrug and a teasing tone of voice, petrifying Maura with her casual confidence. "Face it, pal. You're stuck with me."

Maura was torn between wanting to laugh with her, and wanting desperately to confess everything and tell Jane the letter was from her. She was starting to falter under Jane's gaze, which was soft but searching. Maybe too searching.

Thus, Maura's response to Jane's touching sentiment was to ask, "Could I make use of your bathtub?"

"My..."

"I'm still feeling a little sore from my tumble down the stairs, and I think a little hydrotherapy might help."

This wasn't a lie, really; Maura was sore, and she often used warm baths as a way to soothe aches and pains. She hoped that by the time she got out of the bath, Jane would've had time to move past the anonymous gift and they could converse about something totally different. Or maybe she'd have turned on the TV and forgotten all about it the ludicrous emotional display. Maura didn't stop to consider how suspicious this abrupt semi-departure made her look. Jane got her a set of pajamas to change into, and Maura started the water.

A few minutes in, the bath was indeed helping to relieve some of Maura's physical pain, but emotionally she was still in a rather anxious state. This wasn't helped much when, about ten minutes later, Jane started talking to her from the other side of the door.

"So, why didn't you sign it?"

Maura almost thought her heart stopped. She didn't know what to say. Could she pretend she hadn't heard the question? There was a soft shifting sound, as if Jane was sliding down the wall to sit outside the door.

"How'd you...what makes you think it was me?" Maura finally asked.

"Few things. I know your handwriting, for one. It's beautiful, precise. It's so much nicer than mine, and I've always admired it. For another thing, I just stepped outside to see if I'd maybe missed another tag or something that fell off. There's a little bit of snow right on the edge of the hallway, and I saw tracks that look like your boot prints, coming up the opposite side of the stairs as the side I dragged you up after your fall. And, well, you seemed really uncomfortable with this situation instead of wanting to help me solve it, which is what I'd think you'd normally do."

It was almost tempting to laugh. "I should've known better than to think I could get away with fooling a detective."

"That's not all, though," Jane went on. "See, I don't... I don't have a lot of friends. Definitely not enough close ones who'd have been able to write such a nice note about me. Too nice, because I _do_ make jokes at your expense too often."

"You really do," Maura sighed, and that got a weak laugh out of Jane.

"Well, look, um, this isn't a joke to me. I promise. I think that was really brave of you, and really sweet."

Maura didn't know what to say to that, so she just asked, "Did you open it?"

"Open what?"

"The...gift?"

"Oh!" Jane laughed. "That's so weird, I didn't. I didn't even think about it, because I already got my gift."

"What do you mean?"

Jane sobered up. "The gift was the note. The gift is holding this note in my hand, as concrete evidence that you feel the same way I do. And—"

"WAIT!"

There was a loud splashing sound now as Maura flailed to get out of the tub. Now that she knew it was safe to have this conversation face-to-face, she needed to be able to see Jane while they had it. She had to be able to see even the most minute changes in her countenance, had to ensure that the promising words Jane was saying were in fact coming out of her own mouth and weren't some part of an elaborate ruse. It killed her that she had to make her reappearance with slightly damp hair, hastily put up, and old pajamas that didn't flatter her figure, but she didn't have the luxury to be precious about her appearance at the moment. Jane never seemed to mind.

She opened the door, and Jane was leaning against the wall, arms folded patiently and a serene smile on her lips in the semi-dark hallway.

"So...are we really gonna do this?" Jane asked. "Are you going to be able to handle me?"

"Handle you? I should think being your best friend was a pretty good primer."

"I know, but that's what I mean. I mean, now you're gonna be hearing things from me a lot more often. My filter's gonna disappear."

Her demeanor put Maura at ease, allowing her to tease back, "Was it ever there?"

Jane took a step away from the wall and Maura's breath caught in her throat. "I mean the filter that's always kept me from telling you things like how beautiful you look. I know that it's not like I've never told you that before. But I'd second-guess myself a lot so you wouldn't think I was more into you than I should be. Like, I knew I couldn't lay it on too thick or compliment too many individual things at once. Which I'd do right now, but I just established that cataloguing beautiful things about a person piece-by-piece can sound serial killery, so..."

Maura had been trying to keep her own smile in check, but couldn't contain it when the joke made her laugh. She stepped forward as well, bringing them almost toe-to-toe, and reached out. Jane took hold of her arms, gripping them for support.

"You're trembling," Maura observed.

"Yeah. Yeah, and I can't believe you're not, what's the deal?" Jane asked with a shaky laugh. "Sorry, I just got kinda overwhelmed just now. I've seen you in pajamas, even my pajamas before, I've seen you fresh out of a bath or shower before, and thought nothing of it or tried to think nothing of it. Now it's like this veil has been lifted. I don't want to come on too strong all of a sudden." She pulled Maura into a hug. "And I'm going to do my best to live up to that beautiful card. I want to make you as happy as you've made me. You make me so happy, Maura, you make my heart so happy."

All Maura could think to do besides whisper "me too, me too" was hug Jane back as hard as she could. They lapsed into a short silence as they stood, embracing each other in the hallway. Strangely, the urge to do anything more didn't strike either of them right away; it was already too overwhelming just having gotten to these initial declarations, like going from zero to a hundred and twenty in nothing flat. Maura in particular needed a minute to process, and Jane seemed to intuit this:

"Sorry if that was a weird conversation to start while you were in the bathroom," she said, and Maura laughed again. "I just thought, I dunno, you seemed skittish and maybe the better thing would've been to ignore it altogether but then I thought maybe you only got that nervous because you worried your feelings weren't returned and I wanted to reassure you. Either way, I hoped keeping the conversation semi-private would maybe be helpful for you. It was just killing me sitting out here alone and thinking about it."

"Thank you for being brave enough to bring it up when I just wanted to run away," Maura said. "Although part of me also wonders if you didn't just want to show off the fact that you'd figured out it was from me."

It seemed the charitable thing to avoid bringing up (again) that it hadn't been hard to solve, so Jane pivoted and replied, "Well, there is still one thing I'm hung up on." She shifted out of the hug, pulling Maura's gift box from her back pocket and opening it. "Why's it empty? Is it like a metaphor?" In a cheesy deeper voice, she added, "A metaphor for how empty your life was before you met me?"

Maura's mouth fell open and she smacked her forehead. "I've really outdone myself tonight. I forgot to sign the card and I forgot to actually put the gift in the box! Oh, my gosh. I was really, really nervous. Please pardon the hyperbole, but my mind must've been miles away."

"Didn't it feel light to you?" Jane chuckled, giving the box a shake before returning it to her back pocket.

"I mean, it didn't weigh much, it's just a—"

"Ah, ah," Jane cut her off. "Don't spoil the surprise! You can still give it to me later. Although I'm sorry to disappoint you, whatever it is, it's not gonna be even a close second to the gift of learning that you've been pining for me since day one."

"It was not day one," Maura scoffed, rolling her eyes affectionately. "I should cut the suspense now and just go get it."

"Okay, so how about this," Jane mused. "As amazing as I think you look in PJ's, I assume you wouldn't like to go out in them—I mean, further out than your car. Why don't you go home and change, I'll get cleaned up, and you can come back here with your amazing gift and we'll go out to celebrate, um... whatever it is we're doing here."

"I think you look gorgeous as is," Maura said, tugging the hem of Jane's sweater, "but otherwise, I really like the sound of that plan."

Jane opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out of it when she felt Maura's hand graze her backside. A shaky breath escaped her when Maura tightened her grip, and then Jane realized she was just taking her time extracting the gift box from Jane's pocket. Seeing the response this small action elicited was incredibly exciting, and Maura was reminded of one of the only things she could remember her mother saying about love: that it was like friendship set ablaze.

"A sensitive spot for you, hm?" she murmured. "Good to know."

Jane almost tripped trying to follow Maura to the door. "I look forward to finding out yours."

"Somehow, that's another mystery I don't think you'll have much trouble solving," Maura said.

Maybe Jane was the one who would benefit from a minute to process. Their everyday banter had just shot forward into something immediately more flirty than usual, but it didn't feel weird. What actually caught her off guard was how natural it seemed. This all still felt surreal to her as she watched Maura gingerly put her boots back on, and reach for her coat. She was consumed by warmth, even as Maura opened the door and let the wintry air in.

"You be careful on those steps now," Jane said, leaning against the doorframe. "Use the railings, grandma. Wouldn't do for you to take another tumble."

"No, I daresay it wouldn't."

Maura's heartbeat ratcheted back up again when Jane leaned towards her. She left a soft kiss on one cheek, then the other, and then a quick peck to the forehead.

"Just so you're prepared," Jane said, pulling back and glorying in Maura's smile. "There's gonna be mistletoe hanging over this door when you get back."

Speeding in winter wasn't safe, Maura knew, but what the hell. She was already feeling reckless tonight.


End file.
